Becoming a Better Writer

In a previous post, I wrote about those self-doubts I get when I worry I'm wasting so much of my time writing when really I'm no good at it.  As mentioned many times before, a good writer is a good reader.  You learn a great deal by reading others' works.  I also wrote how sometimes I can't simply enjoy a novel because now I look too much at the writing and fail to get lost in the story.  As related to all of the above, I want to talk today about how sometimes when I read a really good author, I'm talking here about the best, I actually get a little blue.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not blue because I don't enjoy their writing.  I get blue because I love their writing.  I stop and think I'll never be this good, ever.  It's this thought that gets to me the most.  It's really hard to believe in yourself, especially when you're just starting out and nobody's really reading your work.

I've been writing, a lot, but I haven't given anything to someone to read and sample in a really long time.  My ideas have been a bit frenetic of late.  I get one I really love and work on it for weeks.  Suddenly, I lose interest.  Then, I have another lightbulb moment and start from scratch.  I probably have 5 to 10 unfinished manuscripts languishing on my computer.  When I say unfinished, I'm not talking about 10,000 words or so.  No, I'm talking 60,000 to 70,000 words.  I don't know what's holding me back other than I'm holding myself back.  This is a new problem of mine.  Even in the beginning, I finished my first manuscript, start to finish, in a matter of months.  I didn't feel like I had to get any other ideas on paper.  I simply focused on the one story.  I'm having a hard time with that lately.  Narrowing my focus.  It's like I want to write four novels at once, but I can't do that and possibly keep track of my plots and characters.  Ugh, but it's becoming quite frustrating!

This too is one more lesson, I'm sure.  It's another step in the process of becoming a better writer.  Maybe someday, I'll get past those self doubts and feel comfortable with my work.  Maybe someday, I'll have 10 finished manuscripts and they'll all be published.  Maybe someday.  It seems to be my mantra of late.  Sigh.

Song I'm enjoying lately:  Overjoyed by Matchbox Twenty.  Such a sweet love song!